Woke up and guess what, I am in Africa!

This entry is different for all others, it is not a rant, these are just my thoughts.

I know I have been here for several months now, but every so often through all my discomforts I have to wake up and remember, I am in Africa. I feel there are days where I will be back in NYC at my apartment on the Upper East and think of all this as a long dream.  Guess what though, every day I wake up on my mattress enclosed in my mosquito net wishing I was some where else.  Its not all bad as my dramatics may make it seem. I am really appreciating the experience.  I was on a bus this morning headed off to Bougouni for my birthday weekend, and while looking out the window, I had another moment where I was reminded I am in Africa.  I look out and see children running in villages chasing tires, I see women carrying their livelihoods on their heads, I see donkeys in the  roads and farm animals roaming every which way, I am on a bus with no A/C surrounded by people who have not heard of deodorant, through all of this, I remember I am in Africa.  I really do appreciate all of this, it opens my eyes to a whole new world; one can forget that we share the same planet! Do not get me wrong with previous posts that probably seem to just be a long random rant of bitchiness, I appreciate this experience and encourage people who are interested in the slightest to try it out.  I am told by many volunteers that this is not for everyone, and I agree it is not.  I will never regret my decision to join this wonderful organization, it stands for everything I believe in.  With that said, whether I stay here another 2 months or 2 years that is to be foreseen,  no matter how much I love this experience, I do have to listen to my body and mind.  It is very tolling on my as you can see from previous entries; I am not sure if I was ready for such an endeavor. This is my question to myself, How would I know when I would be ready?  Tomorrow is my birthday and I will be 26! I realize here that I was not ready to leave NYC, not sure if I was ready to make a 2 year commitment, but when would I be ready?  I am realizing there are so many things back home that I am not sure if I want to miss... my nephews first birthday, my moms 60th, more holidays more anniversaries. I understand that I will have to miss something no matter what I choose to do, but to be unhappy and miss out on the lives of my loved ones.  I am not homesick, but I do think about what I will be missing.  As I said, whenever I choose to leave be it in July or April 2013, I appreciate the fact that I got to meet some amazing people, not only volunteers but the Malian people.  Malians are extraordinary, they live in such adversities with a smile on their faces!  They are some of the most hospitable people, yet they have next to nothing. If I asked, they would give me the shirt off their backs.  There are the annoying ones of course, especially the children who stare and taunt but as a whole, this is a wonderful society.  I just wished I was ready to accept it and be a part of it!  I could only hope with time!